PAT WELLER FOR BUZZFLASH AT TRUTHOUT
Let's lighten the political mood with this little pop quiz:
1. Why did Mitt Romney think his dog Seamus would love riding on top of the car on a family trip to Canada?
(a) Mitt always seemed to like it;
(b) The car wasn't air conditioned;
(c) When Mitt asked the dog where he wanted to ride, the dog said "Roof! Roof!"
2. Why would the Republican members of Congress block everything the president has wanted to do to encourage an economic recovery?
(a) So they could turn right around and blame the president for the sluggish economy;
(b) Because the president is black and a socialist;
(c) Because the president is a Muslim, and wasn't born here.
3. Some Republicans toy with eliminating the Environmental Protection Agency and the Food and Drug Administration. How would that keep us safe?
(a) Do you want to be safe or do you want to help big business make more profits?
(b) It doesn't, but at least it would cut out all that pesky oversight and unnecessary regulation;
(c) If you don't know you are being poisoned, you don't know you're not safe.
4. Why do Republicans want to make all the health and reproductive decisions for women?
(a) Because women are second class citizens;
(b) Because, being men, they know what's right for women;
(c) Why is a woman even asking this question?
5. Who is the Wizard of Oz behind the Republican curtain?
(a) Karl Rove
(b) the Koch brothers
(c) Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh
6. Why are Republicans adamant about not raising taxes on the wealthy?
(a) They signed the Grover Norquist pledge, which apparently has some kind of "cement shoes" clause in it.
(b) Because Obama wants to do it.
(c) Because big business is wealthy, my friend.
7. Why does the NRA oppose any kind of gun control?
(a) Because it has close ties to the gun manufacturing industry
(b) The founding fathers specifically stated in the Second Amendment that guns are for everyone, including criminals
(c) If we are allowed to carry guns in restaurants, bars, schools, churches, the Republican National Convention in Tampa and at family gatherings on Thanksgiving, we will all be better off. . . if we can draw first.
8. What was the defining moment of President Obama's administration?
(a) The stimulus bill which kept the economy from becoming worse;
(b) The auto industry bailout which saved 1 million jobs;
(c) The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act;
(d) Taking out Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks;
(e) Getting our troops out of Iraq;
(f) Concluding "yes" on same-sex marriage and equality for all
(g) Getting all of the above done without the help of Republicans.
9. What has been the defining moment of the Republican Party since 2008?
(a) Congressman Mitch McConnell's statement that the GOP's number one goal was to insure that Barack Obama was a one term president;
(b) Mitt Romney being the last man standing in a field that included a pizza mogul, a raging homophobe, and a narcissistic birther with bad hair;
(c) Its vacuous decision to present Donald Trump with the 2012 Statesman of the Year award on the day before the Republican National Convention in August.
10. Why is it that if you tell people something more than twice, they believe it?
(a) Because Obama is the best choice for president
(b) Because Obama deserves a second term
(c) Because Obama-Biden 2012 just makes sense.